C-box

I know i basically declared to the world that I WILL POST HAPPY STUFFS but sorry , i don't want to blog about my how i live my day because I don't want to post about what I eat , what I bought , who bitch who, whose 'in' and whose 'not' , and introduce my classroom or get emo over bastards and keep repeating the same line , '___ is not here today , miss him , wish I could hold him , miss him' cuz all those bastards are 'baskets' that are not worth missing over . but now?? all there is here , is study , concentrate on stuffs that EVERYBODY knows I don't enjoy . and why?? I bet a lot of you got an idea of what I might be going over , and no its not a dude , no its not the fame , nor is the money , its the place in the world where i stood that is being replace . I know its sounds selfish of me . but yeah, thats what I'm getting pissed/stressed out about . and it all happened because of a 'basket' . I found a new place , but its in my own world . I keep telling myself I deserve better than that , I'll work hard , and I'll get it and its only in a matter of time , but the matter of time and the working hard seems to be just words that never leveled to action and after effects . so , I've decided to just keep away , bcuz I'm sick of thinking the ' what-if''s' . But why is it so hard , so hard to keep away , why can't i keep my distance , accept  the truth   and get on with life? why do I keep getting myself down , keep pulling myself down , to a place I don't want to be?